TSS

Description - Walking the Tightrope

A Writing Mechanics Article by Benjamin Hall

Undoubtedly, description is one of the most important elements of writing fiction, especially genres such as fantasy and sci-fi, where the worlds involved are unreal to us. However, many people make the mistake of thinking that more is always better; but at the same time, some people go the other way, and include as little as possible. But which is the way to go?

First, let’s look at what description actually is. It’d be easy to just say “adjectives”, but that’s not always the case. Many other descriptive techniques like similes and personification can be messed around with to try and create the effect you’re after; but remember, you’re not writing poetry. Imagery is a powerful technique, but best in small doses. Let’s look at a quick example:

“The fox leapt into the bushes.”

Not very exciting, is it? What we have here is an example of too little description. One of the worst things you can do is constrict the world of your story by not showing anything. However, at the other end of the spectrum is this:

“The hazel-coloured fox swiftly dived through the brisk morning air and into the lush green thicket of the underbrush, like an Olympic diver going for the gold medal. All was silent after the crackling and rustling that emanated to the surroundings, alerting all to the fox’s presence.”

Once again, this is what not to do. It is an example of what is commonly known as “Purple Prose”, or any prose that is over-lavish in the description of things. Similes and metaphors, along with needless adverbs (which are almost never necessary in regular description) make the description drag on, and on, and on. This is just as, if not more boring than the first example.

So, that’s established two simple rules: don’t under describe, don’t over describe. BUT, there’s more to it than just that. That’s how not to describe; but what about how to describe? This, of course, depends on your personal writing style. Some people like to leave more to the reader’s imagination than others, but it’s always important to leave at least something for the reader to decide. Have you ever had an image you had of a certain scene in a book spoiled by a film or TV adaptation of it? That’s why it’s good to let the reader decide for themselves exact details. Too many cooks spoil the broth; too much description spoils the image. A great thing about literature is that everybody will interpret things slightly differently, so that effect should be preserved within your prose. There’s a fine balance to be found, like balancing on a tightrope: if you lean too far in either direction you fall, and the weights of your writing style decide where to find the balance.

So, back to our fox and the bushes. Say it was described like this:

“The hazel-coloured fox dived into the bushes, landing with a quiet rustle of leaves that broke the calm air.”

That’s substantially less than the purple prose, but enough more than the first version to have some depth. A lot is left to the reader; but they have enough of an image to conjure a complete picture in their mind. I bet you probably interpreted the appearance of that scene differently to me – but you probably saw the fox and the bushes, along with the motion, and heard the sound. That’s what’s important to me as the author, so my mission is accomplished.

Of course, you might decide to describe it differently, which is exactly what I’d expect. I can’t expect everyone to like my writing style – neither can you, since everybody’s style is different. The trick is to find that balance on the tightrope.

That said, there is another BUT. This is very much a second-draft thing (the perfection of description, that is). Don’t worry about your descriptions too much while writing a first draft – in fact, what I always say is that in a first draft, barely worry about everything, just ensure everything is coherent. The second draft is where you need to start refining the descriptions (among other things), so don’t get stressed if something seems bad or awkward on a first draft. You can fix all of that later, because the worst thing to do is break up the flow of your writing to go back and fix everything (see my article “The Hardest Part: Start/Restart” for more on this). As long as you know what’s going on, and how to fix things later on, your descriptions should turn out fine. Just try and find that tightrope balance – and stay there!

Benjamin Hall